Playstation Vitor? Viter? Vita! Playstation Vita. Right?

The playstation vita is...a new handheld from sony? That plays handheld games? NO! NO I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT THE PLAYSTATION VITA! NO GO AWAY!! NO MASTER, I WON'T! NOT THIS TIME! HUSIBVIUFWUYBFGWHFB IUG. 


The Playstation Vita from sony is a new handheld console to succeed the much less than awesome Playstation Portable. Admittedly, the PSP was alright. It had a good game on it...somewhere. But it was overshadowed by the glory of the Nintendo DS...and the other pointless variations of it. WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO MAKE A DSIXL? Anyway, Sony's team went back the drawing board and went "Okay guys, look at this! Nintendo made handheld with touchscreen, we should totally do that as well" One of the guys says: "Shouldn't we stop stealing from Nintendo? I mean, they still hate us after rippn' off the Wii?" "U mad?" So, Sony had a closer look and said: People love graphics, so lets make it HD. Okay, picking up steam here...
And let's put a touch screen on the back
Waitasecondhuh?
AND THE FRONT! You can never have to many touch screens!
whyrudoingthisisittoohardtojuststop?

OMMIGOSHLOOKATHOWMUCHfunWE'reHaving?

But soon, they had their greatest idea ever; "Let's just make a PS3 on a screen that's too small, yet still too big for my pocket! Genius!" The sony team was stunned at the sheer brilliance of the idea. And this time, there was nobody complaining about ripping off Nintendo. "Where'd that nintendo guy go?" "Oh, he got lost" "If only he had a GPS..." And so, a GPS was added, just in case players forgot where they were. All of a sudden, the stars shone a brilliant bright purple and pure brain power was trust into the minds of the PSV creators. The idea of allowing people to play their PS3 through their Vita was born...bro. This was the first great idea they had. Similar to the Wii U, but with more distance and could be played virtually anywhere. Only one problem...THEY FORGOT TO IMPLEMENT IT WHEN THEY RELEASED IT!!!!!$!$!$!$!$ You see, they could have waited a little longer to give players the option from the get go by putting EFFORT AND TIME into their baby, but instead sony's eyes were like $-$ and they felt obliged to release the Vita and promise the release of programs that would allow the Vita to stream PS3 gameplay later on. What's that smell? Smells like money to me. Anyway, all this was forgotten when they announced the great game that would come out for the Vita...Uncharted. And you know something? IT WASN'T ACTUALLY ALL THAT GREAT! The rest of the games, you could get on your PS3 which might be cheaper than buying a Vita and, oh wait a minute...YOU CAN USE IT ON A BIG SCREEN! I MEAN WHAT IDIOTS...
Nope. Never mind. I'm done. I'm-I'm done. I give up. Game over.
bang
I just killed myself. Can you live with that Sony? 

Boss fights in First Person Shooters

GET RID OF THEM!!!
Virtually none of them are any good. 
Boss fights in action games? Usually awesome because of the number of ways you can fight them, like in Spider-Man Shattered Dimensions. Sure, they tend to be a bit formulaic after a while, but you can't deny that in games like Arkham City and Infamous, the bosses are spectacular to look at and you get a true sense of epicness when dueling them, your powers against theirs in a battle to prove which are stronger. And if you aren't as strong as they are, its up to you to outwit them in any way you can. Epic!
However, boss fights in FPS always seem to suck. Why? Because the style of the game doesn't fit in with boss fights. Shooters like Goldeneye 007 and Deus Ex: Human Revolution have awful boss fights, despite the fact the games themselves are amazing. When shooting, most enemies go down in a few hits. There's a lot of strategy involved with shoot outs though, which makes them so interesting. Deus Ex is all about strategy, variety and just plain epic combat. Enemies take cover and try to flank you, making for some intense firefights. Although you can rip through these guys with a few bullets, they can do exactly the same to you. Except in the boss fights. The boss just slowly walks towards you, barely flinching as you fill him full of lead. If you get too close, he demolishes you...pretty much effortlessly. The bosses are unlike any other enemy. The fights in the game aren't about player choice and strategy any more, it's about how many shots you can get in before having to sprint away. Not fun. Same with Goldeneye. You can get behind the boss and kill him to death with you bullets...or can you? The boss can only take a certain amount of damage before he becomes temporarily invincible, meaning that your bullets do nothing. Do you ever become invincible? NO! Do any other enemies become invincible? NO! Sure, bosses are meant to be more challenging, but not because they stop the flow of gameplay. If you want a good FPS boss fight: Try Metroid Prime. Epic fights there.
4EVER out

New Amazing Spider-Man trailer

Still skeptical, but I like the look so far. ASIDE FROM THE FREAKING DUBSTEP!

Left 4 Dead 2 Review

Okay. Got my buddy. Got mah controller. Got meh nerves. TIME TO SLAY SOME ZOMBIES!


I came into Left 4 Dead 2 as a hopeful child. A child hoping to be terrified at the though of immanent death at the claws of merciless zombies. A child hoping to be enjoying the thrill of fighting hoards of the undead with my buddy at my side. A child hoping to have fun. What I got was more akin to a bad Christmas Present (socks usually) Left 4 Dead 2 is a mind numbingly dull experience with little motivation for the player and little variants in the game to remain interesting for more than five minutes.


The game begins with "AN INFECTION!!??!?!?!?!" (Insert gasp) Which turns everyone bar four people into zombies. From the get go you are strung with the thrilling narrative of "Kill all sons of B!t(h3$" and "Get from point A to point B" That is the story for the whole game. Nothing more complex at all. If Left 4 Dead 2 were a book, it would be a page long. Actually, a sentence. Here's I'll write it for you: Four guys were trapped in a zombie infection, but they got away by killing everything in sight. There, I just wrote my first book. Cheque please.


The graphics are pretty awful, especially for the Australian version. Zombies blend in with each other into the dull backgrounds and when you shoot them, their bodies disappear before they even hit the ground. There's barely any blood in this game (thank you Australian classification system) and the game just looks thrown together at the last minute kind of graphix. Know what I'm sayin'? U dig?


The gameplay at the very start of the game sets you up for the monotonous ride that you spend the whole game on. Here's how the game plays.
You grab gun and shoot zombies coming from --> that way.
Next level: You grab gun and shoot zombies coming from --> that way.
Next level: You grab gun and shoot zombies coming from --> that way.

Next level: You grab gun and shoot zombies coming from --> that way.

Next level: You grab gun and shoot zombies coming from --> that way.

Next level: You grab gun and shoot zombies coming from --> that way.

Next level: You grab gun and shoot zombies coming from --> that way.

Next level: You grab gun and shoot zombies coming from --> that way.

See that? I was so lazy I didn't even bother to rewrite the level design. I just copied and pasted while only adding a different background. I essentially made Left 4 Dead 2! Hey, I wrote my first novel in the same night as my first videogame walkthrough. Keep this up and I should be rich.

One last thing I must mention about this abomination are the clunky physics. Tens of Zombies all hitting you at the same time does minimal damage. You can use the sniper rifle like a shotgun. The weapons have no weight to them, just ripping through the bad guys like they are paper, you move too fast. Basically this game is awful. I recommend buying it, then snapping the disc to send a message to the stores not to order any more copies.

4EVER over and out.

(oh dear, the fanboys are going to kill me...)

Marvel Heroes MMO

If DCUO was not for you, perhaps Marvel's new upcoming MMO will take your fancy. Sorry, not details aside from that it is in the making.

Assassin's Creed 3

Yeah. Whop-de do. AC3. Yay. As you can see...me no excite...

Halo 4

Is it just me, or are 343 industries really stepping it up? This Halo game looks amazing, even from the shorts we've seen. 343 are trying to find their own identity with the Reclaimer Trilogy of Halo games and they have a good chance of finding it if they put this much effort into the game. I like it when a game looks good, but I don't really care if it doesn't but the gameplay in this also seems very different, yet familiar to other Haloz. I'm excited. REALLY, excited.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution, the story so far...

Wow, I didn't expect to enjoy this game so much after doing so little. One of the reasons this game intrigues me is the story. Set in the year 2027, humanity is coping with biological augmentations (or Aug's as they are called) There are those who oppose it because they feel it isn't human, because they can't afford it or they are affiliated with a rare virus that makes them incompatable. Meet Adam Jensen. Ex-S.W.A.T. now employed at Sarif Industries. From the very beginning, the story grabs and doesn't let go. With great voice acting and memorable characters from the get-go, the journey so far is fun as hell. After some Augmented corporation breaks in and kills Adam's..."friend" Megan and nearly destroys him. Jensen is forcibly augmented to survive. This means you can upgrade the augs inside Jensen to make him stronger in combat. Another great aspect of this game is choice, which affects the story greatly. At one point, speaking to a boss with a hostage, I had the option of confronting him in a fight, letting him go or trying to bargain with him to release the hostage. Each scenario plays differently yielding different outcomes. Cool stuff. The game is really hard though, like, really hard. You run out of ammo fairly quickly and enemies are smart. More on Deus Ex: Human Revolution later

New stuff

I have now started playing Skyrim. It is definitely fun, but game of the year? Really? I enjoy doing stuff in the game and the amount of stuff is cool, but people call it the best of all time? Hardly. Don't get me wrong, it's fun, but not anywhere near as good as Skyward Sword or Arkham City. It's awesome, but not masterful. Another game I just started plying is Deus Ex: Human Revolution. So far, I love it. I haven't done much, but it has this amazing atmosphere to it and some pretty cool combat. It's basically a FPS/TPCS and RPG hybrid with stealth. The year is 2027 and biological augmentation is causing civil unrest between the purists (who remain pure human) and those who accept the augmentations. Freaking. Amazingsz. Anyway, back to Skyrim, I'm level five at the moment I choose to specialise in magicka. I just joined the college of Winterhold and killed my first dragon and am saving up money to buy a house to put all my stuff in so I don't have to sift through my junk in my inventory. BTW, how do you join: Companions guild, Thieves guild, Dark Brotherhood and anything else like that?
Alsio, I have Prototype, a game I've played before and enjoyed, but I haven't started it yet.