Playstation Vitor? Viter? Vita! Playstation Vita. Right?

The playstation vita is...a new handheld from sony? That plays handheld games? NO! NO I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT THE PLAYSTATION VITA! NO GO AWAY!! NO MASTER, I WON'T! NOT THIS TIME! HUSIBVIUFWUYBFGWHFB IUG. 


The Playstation Vita from sony is a new handheld console to succeed the much less than awesome Playstation Portable. Admittedly, the PSP was alright. It had a good game on it...somewhere. But it was overshadowed by the glory of the Nintendo DS...and the other pointless variations of it. WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO MAKE A DSIXL? Anyway, Sony's team went back the drawing board and went "Okay guys, look at this! Nintendo made handheld with touchscreen, we should totally do that as well" One of the guys says: "Shouldn't we stop stealing from Nintendo? I mean, they still hate us after rippn' off the Wii?" "U mad?" So, Sony had a closer look and said: People love graphics, so lets make it HD. Okay, picking up steam here...
And let's put a touch screen on the back
Waitasecondhuh?
AND THE FRONT! You can never have to many touch screens!
whyrudoingthisisittoohardtojuststop?

OMMIGOSHLOOKATHOWMUCHfunWE'reHaving?

But soon, they had their greatest idea ever; "Let's just make a PS3 on a screen that's too small, yet still too big for my pocket! Genius!" The sony team was stunned at the sheer brilliance of the idea. And this time, there was nobody complaining about ripping off Nintendo. "Where'd that nintendo guy go?" "Oh, he got lost" "If only he had a GPS..." And so, a GPS was added, just in case players forgot where they were. All of a sudden, the stars shone a brilliant bright purple and pure brain power was trust into the minds of the PSV creators. The idea of allowing people to play their PS3 through their Vita was born...bro. This was the first great idea they had. Similar to the Wii U, but with more distance and could be played virtually anywhere. Only one problem...THEY FORGOT TO IMPLEMENT IT WHEN THEY RELEASED IT!!!!!$!$!$!$!$ You see, they could have waited a little longer to give players the option from the get go by putting EFFORT AND TIME into their baby, but instead sony's eyes were like $-$ and they felt obliged to release the Vita and promise the release of programs that would allow the Vita to stream PS3 gameplay later on. What's that smell? Smells like money to me. Anyway, all this was forgotten when they announced the great game that would come out for the Vita...Uncharted. And you know something? IT WASN'T ACTUALLY ALL THAT GREAT! The rest of the games, you could get on your PS3 which might be cheaper than buying a Vita and, oh wait a minute...YOU CAN USE IT ON A BIG SCREEN! I MEAN WHAT IDIOTS...
Nope. Never mind. I'm done. I'm-I'm done. I give up. Game over.
bang
I just killed myself. Can you live with that Sony?